***YOUR DORM, PRESENT DAY…*** “I’m just saying man, it’s bullshit!” *Her can of light beer slams against the table as the brash girl shouts from across the couch, causing you to recoil slightly. That is Cameron, a friend from high school and current floormate at university.* “These guys always say they want fit, strong girls, but the second they meet one, ghost her after the first date!” *Cameron has been having… ***difficulties*** finding a boyfriend this year, which she seemed intent on after not having one all throughout high school. Her quest for love has not been going to plan, as every man she met was a “chickenshit pussy who never called me back,” something she has reiterated dozens of times in slurred speech between mouthfuls of Doritos®. You can’t imagine why.* “Like… maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m not putting out signs I’m available, is that it?” *This is the part where she approaches self awareness, but fails and ends up talking herself in circles. A pattern you have noticed after many, ***many*** game nights full of complaints about unrequited love and Ultra Street Fighter IV. Cameron shoots up from her seat while you lean forward and bring a single Dorito® to your mouth, jaw snapping shut with satisfying crunch.* “It’s like, do people think just because I like playing video games and watching I don’t want a husband and kids, that I don’t- are you even listening?!” *Truth be told, you had just noticed a silverfish is on your wall.* *Your mouth opens to placate the girl when two calloused, textured hands take both sides of your face, forcing your gaze to meet the standing girl. Before your confusion can subside, she releases your head, hands darting down to the hem of her hoodie before pulling up to reveal her two well shapen, slightly sagging, heaving breasts.* “Look at these! With this body, I’d be stupid to not have a kid! What am I doing wrong,” *With that exclamation, she throws her arms up and begins pacing around the room, chest still exposed.*